End-of-semester reflections

Now that the semester is over I've had some time to rest and relax the past fortnight, and reflect on my experience this semester. And I think…I might enjoy teaching.

It's a question everyone's been asking me, but not a straightforward question for me to answer. The superposition of emotions that makes up how I feel about it refuses to yield to observation and collapse to a single, simple, state. Mostly, I don't feel anything – I don't dislike it, but I also don't feel any particular deep yearning towards it either. (Though in fairness this is also how I feel about programming, which I like well enough as a profession.)

The clearest indication came near the end of April, when I saw and applied for a software developer position in astronomy on this island. It was similar to positions I've held and enjoyed before, and had I applied last year I've have been quite excited for it – yet as I was applying, I felt an unexpected pang of…regret, I suppose, that I wouldn't be around to watch the students I've begun to get to know this year develop over the course of their undergraduate journey.

We'll see if it goes anywhere, of course. I'm on the schedule to teach several classes next semester so I have no idea how or if that would work if I got hired. I find myself thinking a dual arrangement might be nice, where I teach a few classes on the side going forward. But this is all speculation for now.

Another thing I've had time to reflect on was attending the graduation ceremony for UH Hilo the day before my birthday. I left in the middle of the semester when I finished up my Ph.D. at Swinburne, so my last time being part of a ceremony was my undergraduate commencement in 2012. This was also my first time attending as faculty, and I found it a profoundly different experience.

In some strange way, watching the doctoral students being awarded their hoods and degrees gave me a sense of closure. Back in 2021 I literally went from submitting my thesis Sunday afternoon to starting my job at Gemini the next morning, so I had zero time off in-between. That wasn't really the end of it, though, since I then spent most of the next six months turning my thesis into publishable papers, working on evenings and weekdays (with a small break in December for my thesis defense a few days before Christmas). I was pretty burnt out for a long time, and while that's probably representative of most grad students at some level I never really had much in the way of closure; my papers finally got published, and I just…didn't need to be spending most of the time I wasn't working thinking about the process anymore.

So I found it surprisingly emotional to be sitting among the other faculty at the graduation ceremony two weeks ago, watching my fellow newly-minted doctors receiving the rewards for their years of toil. Sitting with the faculty dressed in our formal regalia (wearing a borrowed finery in my case), I felt a connection to the scholars around the globe who for hundreds of years have sat in ceremonies like these, welcoming new learners to their ranks in fellowship. It was a really nice feeling being recognized by the chancellor, both for being a UHH alumnus and as part of the faculty. I try to stay humble and not let my accomplishments go to my head, but it's gratifying to have the many years of hard work I put in bettering myself be recognized.

So what's next for me? As mentioned I'm on the schedule to teach again in the fall, but I don't have anything officially going on over the summer. I have no lack of ideas for projects and things to try, however, so I hope to have ideas for posts before too long. After a little break I've started up on some woodworking projects, including constructing some jigs to make future projects easier. (One of the fun things I'm discovering about woodworking is the ability to simply make your own tools to accomplish things.) We'll see what I get up to, though! A hui hou!